Alone: Thoughts to Be Kept
by Requiem for the Dream
Summary: While underneath the moon by himself, Firestar allows his thoughts to drift about on the subjects of Tigerstar, Brambleclaw, and his very own kits. Oneshot. Entry for the Tainted Domain's contest run by Flamespirit-eth.


**Another oneshot. For Flameh's (It doesn't concern YOU who that is. Go to my forum on my Tainted Lullaby account and you'll know.) contest.**

**Summary: While sleeping in his den one night, Firestar takes some time to think about Tigerstar, Brambleclaw, and his very own kits.**

**A L O N E**

'_The road to Hell is paved with good intentions,' _at least, that's what a dead warrior whispered to me many moons ago. I never did think that I would end up leader of a group of wild cats, nor be accepted by them in mere moons. And now, even as I lay under this stark white moon and as shadows dance about me, I can't help but think about Him. Tigerstar.

What really was his goal in life? That mysterious smile and his always narrowed-down eyes that seemed watched my every move, daring me to falter in step so he could take the lead. It took many moons of contemplation for me to come up with an answer to his goal: joining, survival, and power.

Perhaps his plan all along was to unite all the clans so fighting would cease—a very good plan. Then again, the way he went about it was all wrong. Runningwind, Whitethroat, Brindleface…their lives were taken because of him. What could cause a cat to go to the point of killing innocent lives just to become leader? Power? 

Ask any cat alive during that period of time and they would all say the latter. I, for one, disagree. Sure he tried to kill me numerous times—the dogs, the river, and even with his own fangs—but I still think that no matter what, in his eyes, his intentions were good. Darkstripe, and Longtail and Dustpelt at first, all followed him blindly. I guess every leader needs some followers, lest he would have made it this far.

Even as the pale blue sky on the day BloodClan attacked turned into a blood-red dawn caked with matted fur, I knew, at that moment, that Tigerstar's intentions were good.

--

Tawnypelt and Brambleclaw. 

One, a loyal ShadowClan warrior while the other, a carbon-copy of Tigerstar himself. I still remember the days back when I was Fireheart that I would watch Bramblekit out of the corner of my green eyes. The way he would play with the deaf Snowkit, pounce on moss, and leap into the air and dance among the snowflakes, proved that someday, he would be a courageous, brave warrior.

Now that I think about it, he truly is a trusted warrior—and my very own deputy: father of three kits—Jaypaw, Hollypaw, and Lionpaw—and mate of my very own daughter, Squirrelflight.

Sandstorm constantly reminds me of the days when I used to yowl their heads off for being together ever since Cinderpelt saw the image of the tiger leaping through fire. I also remember when Brambleclaw had to make the decision in front of his half-brother, Hawkfrost, on whether to kill me or not. Those cats…how many moons did they plot with each other? 

Sure, in the end Brambleclaw killed Hawkfrost by digging out the stake to the fox trap I was in but…why did he hesitate? Did being in the position of about to get control of a whole clan frighten him…or almost drive him to be like Tigerstar?

Brambleclaw…what am I ever going to do with you? I'm happy you're my deputy.

--

Squirrelflight and Leafpool.

One, my medicine cat of a daughter and the other, a rebellious warrior in love with the son of Tigerstar. I have no idea why I would snap at them and force them to getaway from each other moons ago when she was an apprentice. Was it because I was scared Brambleclaw would turn out like Tigerstar and teach Squirrelflight—then Squirrelpaw—to be just like him?

Maybe so.

All those sunny days they spent after Squirrelflight found out she was pregnant racing through the fields beyond twolegplace. How we waited in camp for Squirrelflight to return with her kits, and most of all, how we waited to see who she would end up with—Ashfur…or Brambleclaw? Shrewpaw or Spiderleg? So many decisions, so little moons in a cat's life. 

Now that I look on at my grandkits' progress, the same thought still lingers in my head: Will they turn out like Tigerstar?

Only time will tell. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

**Done. I really don't care if I win the challenge or not but…whatever. I still needed something to do for thirty minutes.**


End file.
